Anxiety, Depression, Suicide, PTSD....a few of my favorite things.

Catchy title. Not exactly what Julie Andrews had in mind while twirling through the Alps. 37 weeks ago I ventured into this this world of blogging. I had zero expectations. I average about one post per week; some are heavy, some are light hearted, some are full of nonsense, some make no sense. Some of my topics of preplanned others are based on triggering life events. It's no secret that writing is one of my therapeutic outlets. Perhaps it is a bit like a solar eclipse, you shouldn't look directly at it, yet you can't help yourself.

Recently one of my dearest friends said to me "we have to channel and leverage everything we have to our advantage." They were saying this to me in terms of my anxiety … I'm choosing to apply this to my writing. Tomayto, tomahto... Well, I always have something to say; sometimes its snarky, sometimes its kind, sometimes its brilliant, sometimes I should have probably kept it to myself....part of my charm. There are some who question my blog and its openness on the internet and my respective social media platforms. I am questioned on all aspects of my life; am I not concerned with how this may impact my professional growth or prospects; am I not concerned with what my children may read some day; am I not concerned with sounding like a hypocrite when I eventually fail or relapse.... I have answers for each and every one of those voiced "concerns" however, I don't need to justify my blog, my outlet.

My writing is not harmful to anyone. One day I will need to have some challenging conversations with my children and perhaps my painful experiences will only help guide their perception of mental health. We are already a family that practices openness and acceptance; that is how we bring joy to being a special needs family. One day this blog will become a book. Perhaps a series. Blogging helps tease out where to start the story. Does the story start the day after impact ? Honestly, I am still not sure what counts as impact. Its was more like a volcanic eruption; an awesome event, spectacular landscapes, destroying everything in its path.....EPIC!

So if you're new here and not sure what I blog about you’ll find it outlined below. My blogs appear in no particular order, rhyme, or reason. Just. Like. Me.

• suicide

• anxiety

• depression

• PTSD

• autism / sensory processing disorder

• special needs parenting

• work

• marriage & family

• COVID (because...how could I not...)

You will never find recipes, lifestyle tips, fashion, or anything cool. First, I'm not cool. Second, that's not what I came here for. My Instagram account highlights that stuff, sometimes. Usually its the mom stuff, cute kids, etc... My blog is what has allowed me to breath on days when breathing seems like the biggest chore in the world. If you had asked me two years ago if I would have had the ability to share as I have and be this vulnerable I would have laughed in your face. I'd be lying if I said I don't sometimes second guess the things I publish however, it does add an extra layer of accountability. A tangible to reflect back on when the days are a little dark and I am searching for strength.