Role Playing.

Post 53.

Mama. Wife. Daughter. Colleague. Sister. Friend. Boss. Advocate.

We have roles we fill. Roles that we identify with. Roles that we cherish. Roles that speak to the depths of our souls. Some roles were better at filling than others. We all prioritize our roles differently. Some roles we wish we had more time at. Perhaps some roles we’d like to wish away.

I am a mama who works full time outside of the home. My job has always been demanding, stressful, emotional, rewarding, cup filling and soul reaching. My career has shaped my outlook on life. It has taught me the true meaning of empathy and grace, compassion and understanding, patience and resiliency.

Motherhood has also reinforced those values except maybe patience… Motherhood is wonderful. Motherhood is also a train wreck. It’s taken me a while, years, however I consider a day to be a success if we’re all still alive at bedtime and no one has been placed on Craig’s List.

We were blessed with two wonderfully spirited children. One is a bit spicy and the other sweet as sourwood honey. One is 7 going on 30, we affectionately refer to her as the hot mess express. The other is 8 going on 9 who also happens to have autism, sensory process disorder, and anxiety; our sweet boy.

We are never quite sure which days will be full of spice or decadently sweet. Some days they join forces. Those days I consider Craig’s List; livestock section. There is a lot of organization and bandwidth required to keep our boys world spinning. Most days our world is circus worthy and we rival the most talented plate spinners. Some days we have more plates spinning than Crate & Barrel has on their shelves. Even being in a home where our parenting is man-to-man, my husband and I occasionally want to list ourselves on Craig’s List.

Today our sweet boy was wound up. The cause was a yeti tumbler and it’s color scheme. This issue translated into fight club and eventual normalcy. I make dinner, he hates dinner, he eats a popsicle full contact style, bedtime routine, sleep. I’m still trying to remember driving home from work. My husband is also already asleep. While I could easily be in bed, this is my only quiet time. I should have my work lap top out. Going through work emails, my sincerest apologies if we work together and I owe you an email. It’s not you, it’s me. Working on overdue projects. Getting organized for upcoming impactful changes. I’d like to think I’ll give myself the grace to watch Netflix or Hulu; I’m sure I’ll open my laptop. I need to keep all those plates spinning; triple axle style.

There simply are not enough hours in the day to be 100% at all times in all roles. As a mother, a wife, a colleague I push those boundaries. The workplace still has gaps between genders. According to pews research in 2020 women earned 84% of what men did, that’s 42 extra days of work. Clearly us lady folk are meant to give 100% in all things. I will not be told I can’t have it all. Challenge accepted.

I am full of flaws, personal and professional. I also know my value and my talents. I know what I’m capable of. I can also admit that my personal life is a circus, my professional life can be a circus. Perhaps I’ll start selling peanuts and cotton candy out of my home and office. Maybe I’ll bridge that wage gap.

They say if you want to get anything done give it to the busiest person you know …. a working mom. …..except my outlook inbox, I’m actively seeking applicants to deal with that crime scene; perhaps I’ll check Craig’s List.