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  • Writer's pictureA.S. Morris

Unicorns and Snow Globes

If you have read earlier social media posts of mine, you are likely aware of my snow globe analogy. If not, the snow globe is how I visualize my depression and anxiety. A sophisticated way to contain the crazy. The imagery depicted within snow globes is always an ideal and serene narrative. A magical snapshot of holidays longed for or voyages since traveled.

I will admit that I have had more blizzards than serenity in my snow globe the past few months. I'm okay with that. Some days its exhausting other days I just roll with it. Optimistic that the tide will eventually turn in my favor.

Today, however, I finally had my first unicorn, in quite some time. If you know me, you are well aware of the energy I put into my career. I fell hard for my career at the ripe old age of 21. I was young, naive, and 1000% sure I was going to show this world whats up. I had no idea what I was doing yet had the confidence of a 20 year veteran. Looking back I brought a special kind of crazy with me. I am fairly confidant I still bring a special kind of crazy with me. Its part of my charm. I have worked hard to get where I am. Late nights, long hours, strong personalities, and some bull shit for good measure. Its where I feel home. There is a certain feeling you get, a type of high, when you work in my world. It is truly indescribable.

It has taken me a while to hit my stride in my current role. Lots of newness and firsts coupled with personal struggles. While the job was great my confidence was shot. A feeling I am not accustom to. Today, was the first time that I truly felt that professional confidence return. It was palpable. A feeling that I didn't realize how much I was missing. A tangible reminder of what I have worked so hard for. I contemplated skipping down the hallway, however, i am not trying to become the committed kind of crazy. Just wait till I write that blog post......

It was the first day in a long, long, long time that I left work for the day okay that I didn't finish every last thing. That I don't feel pressured to work tonight. Feeling that I did my best. Validated in my skill set. These are all pressures I put on myself. In the past it has served me well. As I have aged and life has happened perhaps some wisdom is starting to set in.

All I know for certain is that today, I saw a unicorn amongst the blizzard. A rare sight. A beautiful sight. A sight most certainly to see.

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